waiting

this picture may capture best what i do these days. that's my daughter going out to the ocean (off the east malaysian coast) for her first deep sea diving, after one swimming pool training session. the instructor turned to me and asked, "You're not going to wait here for an hour, are you?" I just looked him in the eye and he knew the answer. So i sat in the sand and for an hour i waited until she emerged and came toward me. Only then, did my breathing get a little easier. And she is home now from college, and my other daughter from her new home in NYC, and i am breathing easier. Waiting is the toughest job of a parent. But oh the thrill we feel when we see them emerge, stronger and wiser in ways and very much the same in other ways. i feel that in letting them go, in pushing them out towards independence, i have earned the right to be more possessive, when they come home. all mine, you are. my little girls. i will feed you and listen to you, and hold you, and send you out again. But i will always be waiting right here.